I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
