walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
