we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
