god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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