Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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