lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
