Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
