your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
