So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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