i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
