No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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