Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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