I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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