Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
