i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
