at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
