I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
