No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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