Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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