the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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