im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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