she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
