We're facebook friends in real life
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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