Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
