I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
