He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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