I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
