i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
