i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
