Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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