so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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