Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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