it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
