hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
