they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
