It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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