dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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