There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
