Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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