how can u be prego again
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
