So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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