A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're a waste of cheezeits
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize