Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
