I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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