But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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