Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
