If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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