oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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