So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
