So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
