Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
