did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
