Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
