if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You ruined the universe
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
