we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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