i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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