i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
