I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
