it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
