I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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