I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
