508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
