if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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