fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it was like his penis was on wheels.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
